The Yugioh Escapade
by neutral element
Summary: REVISED Okay, what happens when you mix experimental drugs, 14 people from the yugioh cast, a race around the world, WITH ONLY A PLASTIC FORK AND TREE BRANCH TO GUIDE THEM? YOU KNOW I'M NOT SURE MYSELF! Read and review guys - give me your worst!
1. And so, it begins

Neutral: Hi

Kimmy: Uh, hi, element is a bit *ahem* unhappy today.

Neutral: (brooding) Those bastards…I'll get them…

Chaneke: ^_^U uh, you see, these people at the company that neutral rents her instruments from, kinda screwed up-

Neutral:_ THEY SCREWED ME OVER THAT'S WHAT!!!! THEY SENT ME THREE , **3 FAULTY GUITARS IN A ROW!!!!!!!!! And not to mention I have punk assed teachers at my school, always giving me a hard time about the "supposedly fake doctor I'm making up to get out of practices"…ass holes…**

Kimmy: She's just not having a good day…

Chaneke: But she's got a whole new chapter to add to her story after what 3 months?

Neutral: READ. REVIEW.AND IF YOU DON'T SCREW YOU. 

Kimmy: Chill out, man! These people are cool!

Neutral: I suppose you're right…anyway I have some people to thank before I continue:

Teachercolley: Thank you very much friend. Good luck with that condition of yours…hopefully I'll be able to help …o_O

Yogi Mutoh:  Much thanks for reviewing, means a lot, but I'm still waiting for updates for your story!

Mamono: Cool name! Anyway gratitude for your review friend. Hope to hear from you soon.

Bonnie: You didn't review, but you emailed me, and it's all good to me. Thank you for taking the time to do that, and if you're reading this, I hope to hear from you again.

Tasha3: You didn't review for the second chapter either, but like I said, it's all good with me because you emailed. Besides you were my first reviewer ever!!!

Kimmy: You are a freak you know that?

Neutral: Why do you say that?!

Kimmy: Because one minute you're super angry, then you're happy again!!!

Neutral: Yeah, freakish mood swings are my thing, you never know what to expect! Well, any way I might as well get on with the disclaimer, I don't own Yu-gi-oh, or Ritalin, only the situations I put them in and the rabid mutant monkey fly hybrids. (what the hell was I on when I invented those? O_o) well here goes people:

__

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_Some People Have got Perverted Minds:_

Mai: Unnnngh! Are we almost there?!

Ryou: (looks up) -_- Doesn't look like it.

Everyone: -_-U (sighs tiredly)

            Group one was currently making there way up the gargantuan mountain that the fork had lead them to in the lower part of the rocky mountain range, in Alberta Canada. So far, the fork showed no sign of  letting up on the relentless pul to thte summit.

Tristan: Hey guys why don't we stop here and set up camp for the night?

Serenity: Yeah sure! We can use the new tent that I bought!!!! Tristan you're so smart!!!^_^

Tristan: ^_^U oh, well you know-

Duke: (obviously peeved) Fine then! We'll set up camp! Why don't **I **take it upon myself to collect firewood for everyone.

Serenity: Great idea Duke ^_^.

Duke: ^_^U  Uh, well, you know…it'll give me a chance to test my strength, I've been working out you know… (Flexes muscles)

Serenity: WOW! I can tell! 

Everyone else: -_-U

Malik: Who's got the Gravol, I need some right about now.

Mai: I'll second that. 

Tristan: (pissed) I'll go to; you know just to make sure that my good friend doesn't get hurt…

Mai: (whispers to Serenity) Uh, do you think it's a good idea to send those two off together…?

Serenity: Hmmm, you're right. Malik!

Malik: Huh? (Looks up, mouth stuffed with food)

Serenity: Go with Duke and Tristan to collect the firewood. Pleeeeeeeease?

Malik: (looks a the people he'd be staying with if he didn't go.) fine.

Serenity: ^_^ Great!!! Me, Mai, Yugi, and Ryou will sty here and set up camp.

Mai: (slaps hand to forehead)

Serenity: ^^ There now there's no chance those two will fight.

Mai: (massaging temples) No, Malik will just kill the both of them before they do…

********************************************************************

Meanwhile in the Amazon… 

Kaiba: We're lost

Tea: Don't be so negative Kaiba.

Joey: I suggest that we find a way out of here!

Kaiba: Gee you think dumb ass?

Y/M: Hey man, we're all cool people here.

Kaiba: You shut the hell up!!! You almost got us all killed!

Group two had spent the first night of their month long journey wandering the Amazon looking for a way out. Surprisingly, nothing exciting had taken place. But then again, after skydiving out of a plane, and being chased by a freak hybrid, nothing else really seems exciting after that.

Isis: Hey guys look at that! (Points)

            Between the trees they saw what appeared to be a dirt road.

Yami: Look! The branch is pulling us in this direction.

The group stared in awe as the locator device pointed right. 

Yami: I say what are we waiting for!

Together they followed until…

Bakura: Where are we?

They looked around at the small village that that they arrived in. People looked at them oddly because of their strange clothing and sudden appearance. The main language they seemed to be speaking was Spanish.

Y/M: I think we're in Brazil.

Isis: I suggest we find some government buildings, these people probably don't know how to speak English. 

Bakura: (walking with the group) No. (Stops dead looking up)

Kaiba: What's the matter?...-_- you cannot be serious. 

Isis: -_-U  I see now why the branch was so keen on pulling us here.

********************************************************************

Back up in Canada: 

Malik, Duke, and Tristan walking back from wood collecting: (silence)

Duke: Does anyone know where the camp is?

Malik: No, but I can hear them just follow the sound of the voices.

(The three follow the sounds)

Yugi: (trying to hammer the spikes into the ground) * CLANG* 

Mai: (Holding them steady) Yugi, you have to go harder!

***

Malik: What's going on up there?

***

Ryou: (Trying to fit the frame structure together) This isn't working!!!

Serenity: that because you're not doing it right! You have to turn it around, find a hole it fits and jamb it in.

***

Duke: o_O what the hell?

***

Ryou: and then clamp it on?

Sereniuty: That's the way!

Yugi: (hammers down) 

Mai: Yugi you have to go harder!

***

Tristan: O_O Dude, I don't like where this is going…

***

Mai: (Yelling at Yugi) Harder! Faster!

Serenity: Okay, you know what, it's mine, so just let me do this.

***

Malik/ Duke/Tristan: ((O)_(O))

Duke: (throws wood down mountain) Oops, dropped my wood, got to go get it. 

Malik: As have I, I will accompany you.

Tristan:  ;_; Serenity  how could you ?!

Malik: (Drags him by collar) Oh, just shut up and follow.

************************************************************************

Neutral: Well that's the end of chapter 3 kind of a cliff hanger left for both groups, I know really short and not as funny as the other chapters, but I can't continue to write these 9, 10 page chapters, they're killing me!!!  Besides, I'll be able to update faster. It takes a lot of time to do long chapters because there's more to plan for. So it's better for all of us. Anyway, you know read and review I hope to hear your comments, but for now I will see you later!


	2. So, so, wrong

Neutral Element: HEY GUYS! Well here's the second chapter, I can't really say between the first two chapters which one is better, they both kinda are okay I guess. Just a little. Well read on and hope you enjoy. But before we move on, I have some people here. They are big fans of Yu-gi-oh, and other animes of all sorts, but they've been giving me suggestions on my story the whole way. (Well one of them more then the other anyway.) 

Say hi you guys!

Kimmy/Kura: (Silence.)

N.E: Okay, my friends are a bunch of dumbasses, all right moving on-

Kimmy: (Death glare)

N.E: Oh crap someone's PMS'ing.

Kura: -_-U Dude that was so wrong.

Kimmy: (Evilest of death glares)

N.E: Hey I was just kidding! I'm not the fist to use the PMS jokes man! Common it's not my fault! What am I supposed to do? INTRO YOURSELVES!

Kura: -_-U Uh, Hi.

Kimmy: (Preparing for battle.)

N.E: I see, that's how it's going to be huh? We'll continue this after the chapter!

Disclaimer: You know I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything related to it, so stop asking me.

Joey: This is so excellent! I can't believe this guy is actually going to fly us to the Amazon directly too!!!

Kaiba: Ooh, "excellent," I see you've learned to apply three syllable words Wheeler. 

Joey: I'd be quiet if I were you Kaiba.

Kaiba: And making threats too. Impressive.

Isis: Can't you two stop fighting for at least 5 minutes?

Group 1 was well on their way to the Amazon, and in a few hours they would be landing. Soon they would be on their way to finding whatever the, *ahem*, location device was pulling towards. However, at the moment, something just didn't seem right. 

Bakura: (Thinking to himself) Only a few hours left and we'll be well on our way to finding the first of the 10 sacred items. Maybe the ring will be back I my possession!

Yami: (Sleeping.)

Kaiba: (Typing furiously on laptop.)

Tea: (Fidgeting nervously) I don't know you guys, I just have this really bad feeling.

Bakura: Geez! Will you stop worrying? What could possibly go wrong? 

Just as Tea was about to react, the plane started rocking back an fourth sputtering unassuring sounds from the engine. 

Yami: (Being rocked awake by the plane.) Huh?….wha?……..NO! MY LIFE IS A LIE!!!! O_O

Everyone: (Staring) O_O

Pilot: (Steps out of cockpit before anyone can react.) Uhhhh, folks there's been a slight error, and the situation calls for evacuation right away. 

Everyone: EVACUATION?!?!?!

Tea: HA! I told y-

Everyone except Tea: SHUT UP TEA!!!

Kaiba: (Grabs the pilot and shakes him) WHAT KIND OF EVACUTAION?

Pilot: I-if y-you w-w-would stop sh-sha-shaking meee- (Sunglasses and hood fall of due to the excessive shaking.)

EVERYONE: GASP!!!!! ………….** YOU**!!!!

Bakura: WHAT THE HELL ARE **YOU** DOING HERE?!?!?!

Joey: ISIS YOU'VE GOT EXPLAINIG TO DO!!!

Pilot: There's no time for this we gotta get off of this plane soon!

*** A few minutes later***

Everyone: (Is strapped up ready to go.)

Pilot: Okay people now!!!

Isis, Joey, Tea, Kaiba, Pilot: (Jump.)

Bakura: So, pharaoh, we meet again-

Yami: (Pushes Bakura out of the plane.)

Bakura: Youuuu little bastaaaaaard! (Sound fades)

Yami: (Jumps and looks out at teammates)

Kaiba: (Passes by) 

Joey, Tea, and Isis: ^_^ Woo-Hoo! Yeah! (Having time of their lives.)

Bakura: (If, you could picture what a life-size rag doll would look like sky diving, well then you'd have Bakura.) 

Yami: (Cringes) Is that twist even humanly possible?

Bakura: **(((X))_((X))) **[Guess not.]

Kaiba: (Thinking to himself) Hmmm, it seems that it's time to release the parachutes. We're reaching prime altitude. ALL RIGHT PEOPLE! RELEASE YOUR PARACHUTES NOW!

Yami/ Pilot: (Release parachutes)

Bakura: ((*)_(*)) Ohhohwhoaoakaaay! (Still defying the limits of human anatomy.)

Tea, Isis, and Joey: (Don't hear.)

Tea: ^_^ This is so great!!! 

As soon as Tea said this, her leg flung out due to her overwhelming joy. Normally, this would be fine if Joey's head didn't happen to be in range of her foot. 

Kaiba: (Releases parachute) -_-…..O_O What the hell?!?! (Looks up) (O_O) Wheeler get your ass out of my parachute!!!!!

Joey: X_X (Currently un conscience, and tangled in Kaiba's parachute.)

Kaiba: (Quickly takes out pocket knife and starts hacking away at the cables.) Halfway there. (Talking to himself)

Tea: WAIT! KAIBA!!! DON'T CUT JOEY OFF!! IF YOU DO HE WON'T LAND SAFTLY!!!

Kaiba: AND THIS WOULD CONCERN ME BECAUSE……….?

Tea: _ KAIBAAAA!!!!!

Kaiba: HEY DON'T CRAP YOUR PANTS BECAUSE OF ME! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO KNONCKED HIM OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

Tea: (Pause) _ SHUT UP!

Kaiba: (Done cutting off Joey. Releases emergency parachute.)

Joey: *_* Huh…what's going on? (O_O) HOLY MMPH MMMMMMMPH!

When Kaiba released his second parachute, Joey was not far away; therefore he got a mouthful of emergency parachute. But now, since he was tangled in Kaiba's _first_ parachute, he'd gained weight; hence, he was falling a lot faster then anyone else. Just take a guess who he was right above…

Kaiba: Ahh…safe. O_O Huh! WHAT THE F***?! WHEELER! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ?!?!?

Joey: MMPH MMPH MMPHHHHHHH!!!!! (Joey releases his own parachute.)

Kaiba: (O_O) NO YOU ASS!!! DON'T DO THAT IT ONLY MAKES IT WORSE!!!

Joey: (Releases emergency parachute directly after.)

Kaiba: (Catches a glimpse of the FAST approaching trees) (O)_(O) AHHH #%^#$@^%*^&^*(^*^$^&*(*&$#$@&%%!!!!!

Tea: KAIBA! 

Isis: -_- You can't really blame him though, I mean look who he's dealing with.

Tea: -_-U Good point.

Yami: Okay this is it! We land now!!! 

One by one, the group landed in the forest near river rapids. 

Isis, Tea, Yami, and Pilot: (Perfect landing near river.)

Yami: Where are the others? 

Isis: Here they come.

The group watched as a huge flying ball of fabric (Kaiba/Joey) came hurdling towards the Earth. 

Huge ball of parachute fabric: MMPH MMPH MMPH MMMMMMPH MMPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* **SPLASH** *

Isis: -_-U I'm going to pretend that the parachute fabric distorted their words and the words I _thought_ I heard weren't _really_ what I thought.

Huge ball of parachute fabric: (Currently flowing down the river rapids.)

Tea: Common you guys! We have to go see if they're all right!

The four people ran along the riverbank chasing after the two boys; but luckily they didn't have to go too far because they became tangled in a rock formation later on in a calmer part of the river. 

Isis, Tea, Yami, and Pilot: (Yank with all their strength and pull them ashore.)

Joey: (Heard cussing from inside parachutes) Ah! sun of a-

Kaiba: BITCH!!! DIE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!!! (Is obviously untangled first, now trying to suffocate Joey.)

Pilot: Yo, brother chill out. (Places hand on Kaiba's shoulder) 

Kaiba: (Turns around) AND YOU!!!!! (Throws pilot into parachute mess and starts suffocating both of the a the same time.)

Pilot/ Joey: MMMMMMMPH!!!!!

Tea: (Trying desperately to pry him off) Easy there Kaiba! Calm down!

Isis: (Helping) Relax! 

Kaiba: (Lays off but still super pissed.) **ALRIGHT! BUT WHAT THE HELL WAS Y/M OF ALL THE FRICKING PEOPLE DOING FLYING A F***ING PLANE?!?!?!?!?!?!**

Bakura: THAT ASS MASTER ALMOST KILLED US ALL!!!

Tea: Huh? Bakura where are you? (Looks up)

Bakura: (Tangled remains in a tree.)

Tea: -_-U Oh. 

Yami: Isis aren't you supposed to be monitoring him?! What happened?!

Isis: Well, you see, it's a long story.

Everyone except Isis and Y/M: -_-

Isis: What, it is?

Everyone except Isis and Y/M: --_--

Isis: (Breaks out in tears) I had no other choice!!! You can't blame me!!! He was so evil that, that I, that I had to…

Yami: Had to what?

Isis: I'd tried everything, and nothing was working!!! He was just too evil…. So I took the risk and put him on EXPERIMENTAL DRUGS!!! ;_;

Everyone except her and Y/M: O_O Experimental drugs?!?! 

Isis: Yes, but they were so potent and the doctor had no idea what kind of effect they'd have on people! As soon as he took them, he jumped out of the doctor's window, 

screaming something about a mafia conspiracy of some sort, and I never saw him after that!!! (Sobbing more) I know I should have looked for him, but I was so tired of looking after both he and Malik!

Joey: O_O I see.

Tea: O_O Well, at least we know where he is now. (Everyone turns to look at him)

Y/M: Hey. 

Tea: (O)_(O) Just um, one question. Uhh, why were you flying planes of all the things that you could be doing?

Y/M: You see,that is a good question, one to which I have an answer. These drugs opened my eyes man. I was always so caught up on destroying the world and what not, the stress level was just through the roof. That is until I caught onto the vibe.

Joey: O_O (Whispers to Yami) What the hell is he talking about?

Yami: O_O I'm not sure I even want to know.

Y/M: (In waaaaay to calm of a voice.) The mystical vibes that is…..the mystical vibes of the universe. It's all about chilling out and being able to tune into the frequencies, you know? Just to let you body flow to the energies. (Obviously still high off the drugs.) I find the signal is strongest when in the sky…hence, the plane. I thought hey, if I'm going to enjoy the vibe, shouldn't others get to as well? 

Bakura: (Still in the tree) (O_O) What. The hell. Is he. Talking. About. 

Y/M: (In lotus position.)

************************************************************************

Meanwhile in Alberta, Canada………

Serenity: Finally we've arrived! ^_^

Malik: Yes, finally. (Still mad about the fight on the plane, but by now he fixed his mascara.)

Tristan: Okay, well I say we don't waste any time! Let's get on the trail of this thing right away.

Malik: And I say you shut up.

Duke: Hey don't talk to him like that! 

Malik: Why are you defending him go for? I thought you hated him.

Duke: I do.

Tristan: Hey!

Duke: (Ignoring Tristan) But just because you're pissed that I was right, doesn't mean you have to take it out on other people. If you have a problem with me, then at least have the balls to be a man and say it to my face.

Tristan: OHHHHHHH BURRRRRRRN!!! He just insulted your manhood Malik!!!

Ryou: Uh oh.

Mai: (Whispers to Tristan) Hey you still have that 10 bucks?

Malik: Excuse me? 

Duke: Not such a big man without your millennium rod are you? I guess since you don't "**_have any"_** the rod kind of took its place, in order for you to feel like a man- if you know what I mean. (Smirk.) 

Everyone: (Cringes) Oooooh…dissed.

Ryou: Ouch. Even I have to say, that's got to sting.

Serenity: DUKE!!! That was way out of line and totally uncalled for!

Mai: I don't even think Malik can make a come back for that one.

Malik: (Orchestrating Dukes Death. Thinks to himself for a moment.)

Everyone: (Waiting nervously.)

Tristan: (Fumbling in his pocket.) Oh! Mai I found the ten bucks.

Mai: Shut-up you imbecile! (Slaps him on the back of the head.)

Malik: Very well, Duke. I f this is your opinion, then so be it. 

Everyone: O_O What the hell?!

Duke: (Smirk disappears) The hell?! No! Do that again and say the right thing this time!!!

Malik: No friend, I have chosen to be the bigger man this time since obviously that's what you're all about. I shall not stoop down to your level.

Everyone except Malik: O_O WHAAAAAT?!

Serenity: Did he just say that?

Ryou: Well that was a surprise.

Yugi: (Deeply startled by the whole thing.) Well okay, what do you say we just, umm continue on from here. Uh, Malik I believe you have the fork.

Malik: (Pulls fork out of his pocket. Instantly begins to pull then west.)

Mai; Okay, I guess we just have to follow it.

Yugi: Common everybody!

************************************************************************

Meanwhile in the Amazon: 

Everyone: O_O (Still shocked by Y/M) 

Bakura: Ummmm, riiiiiiiihgt. Well, anywaaaaay I was thinking maybe ONE OF YOUR SORRY ASSES COULD HELP ME OUT OF THIS TREE!!! _ (Obviously still tangled.)

Tea: All right, all right we'll help you. Someone give me a boost up.

Kaiba: (Pissed off about his ruined trenchcoat.)

Joey: Oh, get over it man.

Kaiba: Shut up! I'll get over it when I feel like getting over it! (Pause) Okay, I guess I can't do anything about it now. (Opens backpack and pulls out brand new trenchcoat.)

Isis: (Arches eyebrow.) You keep spares? 

Kaiba: Quiet.

Everyone: -_-U

Bakura: EXCUSE ME! _ I'M STILL UP HERE!!!

Tea: Someone help me!

Joey: Okay! Quit yelling! (Boosts her up.) 

Tea: (Reaches Bakura's height.) Okay Bakura just relax we'll have you- EEP!

Bakura: What? What? What's going on? (Giant furry winged creature behind Bakura)

Tea: (Thinking fast) Wait a minute, that looks like a- no, it can't be- (Squints at the creature. It had the body of a monkey, but wings and eyes of a fly.) (O)_(O) HOLY CRAP GET ME DOWN! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE! THAT'S NOT A RODENT!!!!!!!! 

Joey: Then what is it?!

Kaiba: It looks like a cross between a monkey and (squints) an …. insect of some sort.

Bakura: (Still has no idea what's going on.) WHAT? WHERE?! (Sees mutant monkey bug staring at him.) HOLY SHIT!!!(O)_(O)

Everyone else: (See the creature.) O_O AHHHH!!!

Joey: IT'S A RABBT MUTANT MONKEY FLY HYBRID!!!!!! 

Tea: I FORGOT EVERYTHING DOWN HERE IS LIKE SUPERSIZED!!!

Rabid Mutant Monkey Bug Hybrid: (Looking for a bite out of Bakura.)

Bakura: GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!! THE THING HAS TEETH!!! (Begins struggling)

Isis: Stop! You'll only attract it more!

Bakura: (Takes out location device) FOR ONCE THIS PIECE OF CRAP COMES N HANDY! HA! TAKE THAT FIEND!!!!! (Pokes the Rabid Mutant Monkey Bug Hybrid with the branch.)

Yami: (Laughing at Bakura)

Kaiba: O_O YOU ASS! THAT'S OUR ONLY WAY TO FIND THE LOCATION FOR THE ITEMS! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!!

Tea: BAKURA HE'S RIGHT!!!

Bakura: WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!

Rabid Mutant Monkey Fly Hybrid: (Seems unfazed.)

Bakura: (O)_(O) AHHH!!!

Yami: (Still laughing.)

Tea: YAMI!

Yami: (Trying to hold back) Sorry. (Still silently laughing.) 

Y/M Here Bakura give him some of these! (Throws up a bottle.)

Bakura: (Catches it.) O_o RITALIN?! 

Y/M: Just do it! 

Bakura: (Struggles to open bottle. Pops open and half of the pills fall onto the ground below.) 

Y/M: Careful you're dropping them!!!

Bakura: (Pores some into hand and starts throwing them at the beast.) HA! TAKE THAT! AND THAT! AND SOME OF THIS!!! (Stares at the bottle) Y/M YTHIS ISN'T WORKING!!! AND I'M RUNNING OUT!

Yami: Well of course you are idiot if you throw them like that how are any of them going to land in its mouth?!

Bakura: YOU WANT ME TO HAND FEED HIM?!?!? ARE YOU MAD?!

Joey: What other choice do you have Bakura? 

Bakura: GRRR…. FINE! (Holds out hand. R.M.M.F.H engulfs it in his mouth.) NO HE'S GOING TO BITE MY HAND OFF!!!! (Opens eyes) What the….? (Looks at drool covered hand) GROSS!!! Wait a minute…..(Skydiving glove is being eaten by acidic saliva.) O_O ***Gulp*** (Looks at R.M.M.F.H)

Rabid Mutant Monkey Fly Hybrid: (Seems to be calm.)

Isis: Good thinking Y/M!

Tea: Wait a minute…. What's it doing?

It was true the so-called " Rabid Mutant Monkey Fly Hybrid" was calm, but it continued to advance on Bakura…. except in not in an offensive fashion.

Bakura: Ahh, safe. Time to get out- Wait…O_O…. HUH?!?! ((O)_(O)) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING DOING ?! AHHHHHH STOP!!!!!!!

Isis: O_O Y/M what's going on?! 

Y/M: (Reading the bottle.) Well, it says here- oh crap.

Isis: Let me see that! (Snatches bottle.) O_O…-_- Oh. Dear. Raa.

Bakura: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!?! (Struggling to escape the insect) 

Kaiba: Isis! What's it doing?

Isis: (Hands Kaiba the bottle of drugs.) Let's see directions, caution…. side effects…. may cause dizziness, headache, nausea…and a change in. ……SEXUAL BEHAVIOR?!?!?

Kaiba, Joey, Yami: (Pause.) AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA (Break out in insane laughter.) HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joey: (Laugh) Our friend is (laugh, laugh) is trying to get down with Bakura! (More laughing) 

Bakura: **((((O)))_(((O))))** **WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?**

Kaiba, Joey, Yami, Y/M: (Laugh harder.)

Tea: -_-U You cannot be serious.

Isis: -_- Poor, poor man.

Bakura: (Falls out of tree.) 

Bonkey: (Follows him.)

Bakura: (Hauling ass)

Suddenly the mosquito stopped and jerked back. It fell on the floor and twitched uncontrollably. 

Bakura: (Stops) (O)_(O) What, (pant) what's (pant, pant) wrong with it?

Y/M: (Reads the bottle.) Well, it says here that there is a risk that it may cause headache, dizziness, nausea, change in sexual behavior, loss of appetite, severe heart attack, unbalanced hormones, vision/hearing loss, seizures, mood swings associated with PMS, hallucinations, drowsiness, loss of control over limbs, weight gain and maybe even death. Oh, and runny nose also. I forgot runny nose.

Yami: Interesting.

Tea: -_- Medicine today.

Kaiba: I'm guessing the thing has had a seizure.

R.M.M.F.H: X_X

Y/M: Poor little guy. That must have been the heart attack kicking in.

Bakura: ;_; I feel so violated. THIS IS THE EVIL OF PESTICIDE!!!! THE IRONY!!! DO YOU SEE THE IRONY!!! CURSE THOSE DAMN GOVERNMENT BASTARDS AND THEIR TWISTED, SLANDEROUS WAYS!!!! 

Isis: Let's just move and forget this ever happened okay?

Bakura: O_O Good idea.

Joey: Bakura you have the stick. Lead the way ….. (Mumbles) hot stuff.

(Snickers heard) 

Joey: (A rock comes flying towards his head.) X_X Ouch.

Tea: -_- Bakura.

Bakura: Don't start. You're telling me you didn't want that to see that happen. 

Tea: Weeeell…..

Bakura: Exactly.

************************************************************************

Back up in Canada………………….

Tristan: (Pant) Slow down (pant) man!

Malik: It won't stop!

Group 2 was well on their way to finding their first of the 10 items to be collected. So far the locator fork had been pulling them west for the past 15 minutes with no sign of stopping. 

Malik: Hey! It stopped pulling!

Serenity: But where are we.

Everyone: (Looks around for a moment.)

Mai: O_O NO.

Ryou: ^_^ What is it Mai? O_O It can't be.

Yugi: What's wrong with you guys?

Everyone else: (Turns to see what their looking at.) O_O Eep.

You see the branch had led them to a location, but it was so BIG that they didn't notice it was even there. There ahead stood one of the BIGGEST mountains anyone of them had ever seen. 

Duke: -_- We have to climb that don't we. 

Ryou: *_* The sad truth. 

Yugi: ;_; Well there's no point in wasting time. The sooner we climb it, the sooner we get the item.

Serenity: -_- Let's move.

N.E. Okay! So ends chapter 2!!! You know the usual read and review crap. I know the groups haven't really gotten anywhere yet, but never fear in the next chapter there will be some progress my friends! (As for improvement of my writing, well, I don't know. But I seriously think this story sucks right now. I mean it's SO NOT FUNNY!!! And it's a humour fic man!!! ;_; * sigh* I can only write and hope people still read.) These two chapters alone have taken me nearly 850 minutes to type and edit!!! They take a long time. I like to make sure my writing is the best it can possibly be before I release something. So please if I do take a while to update it's only because I'm trying to make it more enjoyable. (That and the fact that I have waaaaaay too much on plate as it is. But that's me ^_^)

Kimmy: Ahem.

N.E: Oh, you're still here. Well, you see Kimmy, the fact of the matter is, is that you're a loser, and I have the baddest skill (inside joke) so, uh…...yeah.

Kimmy: EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?!

N.E.: ^_^U Well that's it for me right now, I'm signing out till later gotta go, see ya !!!

Kimmy: _ COME BACK HERE!!! 

N.E: LATER!!!!!!!!

Kura: -_-U DAMN THOSE EVIL MUTANT MONKEY FLY HYBRIDS !


	3. Odd Tent Conversatoins and so Much More

Neutral: Hi

Kimmy: Uh, hi, element is a bit *ahem* unhappy today.

Neutral: (brooding) Those bastards…I'll get them…

Chaneke: ^_^U uh, you see, these people at the company that neutral rents her instruments from, kinda screwed up-

Neutral:_ THEY SCREWED ME OVER THAT'S WHAT!!!! THEY SENT ME THREE , **3 FAULTY GUITARS IN A ROW!!!!!!!!! And not to mention I have punk assed teachers at my school, always giving me a hard time about the "supposedly fake doctor I'm making up to get out of practices"…ass holes…**

Kimmy: She's just not having a good day…

Chaneke: But she's got a whole new chapter to add to her story after what 3 months?

Neutral: READ. REVIEW.AND IF YOU DON'T SCREW YOU. 

Kimmy: Chill out, man! These people are cool!

Neutral: I suppose you're right…anyway I have some people to thank before I continue:

Teachercolley: Thank you very much friend. Good luck with that condition of yours…hopefully I'll be able to help …o_O

Yogi Mutoh:  Much thanks for reviewing, means a lot, but I'm still waiting for updates for your story!

Mamono: Cool name! Anyway gratitude for your review friend. Hope to hear from you soon.

Bonnie: You didn't review, but you emailed me, and it's all good to me. Thank you for taking the time to do that, and if you're reading this, I hope to hear from you again.

Tasha3: You didn't review for the second chapter either, but like I said, it's all good with me because you emailed. Besides you were my first reviewer ever!!!

Kimmy: You are a freak you know that?

Neutral: Why do you say that?!

Kimmy: Because one minute you're super angry, then you're happy again!!!

Neutral: Yeah, freakish mood swings are my thing, you never know what to expect! Well, any way I might as well get on with the disclaimer, I don't own Yu-gi-oh, or Ritalin, only the situations I put them in and the rabid mutant monkey fly hybrids. (what the hell was I on when I invented those? O_o) well here goes people:

__

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_Some People Have got Perverted Minds:_

Mai: Unnnngh! Are we almost there?!

Ryou: (looks up) -_- Doesn't look like it.

Everyone: -_-U (sighs tiredly)

            Group one was currently making there way up the gargantuan mountain that the fork had lead them to in the lower part of the rocky mountain range, in Alberta Canada. So far, the fork showed no sign of  letting up on the relentless pul to thte summit.

Tristan: Hey guys why don't we stop here and set up camp for the night?

Serenity: Yeah sure! We can use the new tent that I bought!!!! Tristan you're so smart!!!^_^

Tristan: ^_^U oh, well you know-

Duke: (obviously peeved) Fine then! We'll set up camp! Why don't **I **take it upon myself to collect firewood for everyone.

Serenity: Great idea Duke ^_^.

Duke: ^_^U  Uh, well, you know…it'll give me a chance to test my strength, I've been working out you know… (Flexes muscles)

Serenity: WOW! I can tell! 

Everyone else: -_-U

Malik: Who's got the Gravol, I need some right about now.

Mai: I'll second that. 

Tristan: (pissed) I'll go to; you know just to make sure that my good friend doesn't get hurt…

Mai: (whispers to Serenity) Uh, do you think it's a good idea to send those two off together…?

Serenity: Hmmm, you're right. Malik!

Malik: Huh? (Looks up, mouth stuffed with food)

Serenity: Go with Duke and Tristan to collect the firewood. Pleeeeeeeease?

Malik: (looks a the people he'd be staying with if he didn't go.) fine.

Serenity: ^_^ Great!!! Me, Mai, Yugi, and Ryou will sty here and set up camp.

Mai: (slaps hand to forehead)

Serenity: ^^ There now there's no chance those two will fight.

Mai: (massaging temples) No, Malik will just kill the both of them before they do…

********************************************************************

Meanwhile in the Amazon… 

Kaiba: We're lost

Tea: Don't be so negative Kaiba.

Joey: I suggest that we find a way out of here!

Kaiba: Gee you think dumb ass?

Y/M: Hey man, we're all cool people here.

Kaiba: You shut the hell up!!! You almost got us all killed!

Group two had spent the first night of their month long journey wandering the Amazon looking for a way out. Surprisingly, nothing exciting had taken place. But then again, after skydiving out of a plane, and being chased by a freak hybrid, nothing else really seems exciting after that.

Isis: Hey guys look at that! (Points)

            Between the trees they saw what appeared to be a dirt road.

Isis: Look! The branch is pulling us in this direction.

The group stared in awe as the locator device pointed right. 

Joey: I say what are we waiting for!

Together they followed until…

Bakura: Where are we?

They looked around at the small village that that they arrived in. People looked at them oddly because of their strange clothing and sudden appearance. The main language they seemed to be speaking was Spanish.

Y/M: I think we're in Brazil.

Isis: I suggest we find some government buildings, these people probably don't know how to speak English. 

Bakura: (walking with the group) No. (Stops dead looking up)

Kaiba: What's the matter?...-_- you cannot be serious. 

Isis: -_-U  I see now why the branch was so keen on pulling us here.

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Back up in Canada: 

Malik, Duke, and Tristan walking back from wood collecting: (silence)

Duke: Does anyone know where the camp is?

Malik: No, but I can hear them just follow the sound of the voices.

(The three follow the sounds)

Yugi: (trying to hammer the spikes into the ground) * CLANG* 

Mai: (Holding them steady) Yugi, you have to go harder!

***

Malik: What's going on up there?

***

Ryou: (Trying to fit the frame structure together) This isn't working!!!

Serenity: that because you're not doing it right! You have to turn it around, find a hole it fits and jamb it in.

***

Duke: o_O what the hell?

***

Ryou: and then clamp it on?

Sereniuty: That's the way!

Yugi: (hammers down) 

Mai: Yugi you have to go harder!

***

Tristan: O_O Dude, I don't like where this is going…

***

Mai: ( Yelling at Yugi) Harder! Faster!

Serenity: Okay, you know what, it's mine, so just let me do this.

***

Malik/ Duke/Tristan: ((O)_(O))

Duke: (throws wood down mountain) Oops, dropped my wood, got to go get it. 

Malik: As have I, I will accompany you.

Tristan:  ;_; Serenity  how could you ?!

Malik: (Drags him by collar) Oh, just shut up and follow.

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Neutral: Well that's the end of chapter 3 kind of a cliff hanger left for both groups, I know really short and not as funny as the other chapters, but I can't continue to write these 9, 10 page chapters, they're killing me!!!  Besides, I'll be able to update faster. It takes a lot of time to do long chapters because there's more to plan for. So it's better for all of us. Anyway, you know read and review I hope to hear your comments, but for now I will see you later!


	4. The Plan

Neutral: Hey there everyone! Once again I am back! (This is like the fastest I have ever updated.) Well, not much to say right now (HOLY CRAP DID I JUST SAY THAT?!) and I currently don't have any guests, so I suppose I'll just move on with the fiction writing.

But before I move on I have to give out special thanks to all those that reviewed! You guys rock *sniff* I feel so loved!!!

Anyway here's the stupid disclaimer for anyone dumb enough to think that I own Yu-Gi-Oh, or Ritalin. The only things I DO OWN are the situations I put them in, and EVERYTHING Y/M SAYS IN MY STORY…yes, that stuff isn't as fictional as you may think it is…..

_March on Brave Warriors in Your Quest!!!_

We left off when Group 2 had finally found their way out of the Amazon rainforest, lead on by the branch to a small Brazilian city where they stopped in utter surprise (or indigestion) at the sight of…

Bakura: What. The. Hell. Is that.

Yami: I'd rather not find out. 

Joey: What have they done to that thing man?!?!?!

The group stared up at the large billboard advertisement which read something in Spanish with a picture of a familiar cartoon face of a little girl and her animal friends.

Bakura: (grabs a Brazilian local calmly walking by) YOU! EXPLANITO!!! (Points to the advertisement.)

Tea: Bakura! (Grabs local guy out of his grip)

Local Guy: O_O Grassies Senoirita.

Kaiba: Move aside. (Begins conversation with local guy.)

Joey: wow Kaiba, you speak Spanish?

Kaiba: Of course I do fool! (Smacks him) I'm a prodigy! What'd you expect!

Local Guy: (Goes off on a rant in Spanish)

********

A few minutes pass…

Kaiba:  (his expression over time) -_-…..o_O…..O_O…-_-…..--_--U…..-----_-----U

Kaiba: (roughly) Thank you sir.

Local Guy: (says some thing nice in Spanish and walks away, that is, after giving Bakura an evil look.)

Tea: So, what did he say?!

Kaiba: Do you _really_ want to know that?

Everyone else: Yes.

Kaiba: Are you _SURE_?

Everyone else: Yes.

Kaiba: _Really _sure?

Joey: Tell us what the hell he said already!!!

Kaiba: As you all know her in America, her name is …..Dora the explorer, that evil little bastard who is causing my company to loose millions in the market because of her popularity-but not to worry I have something for that-

Bakura: _ Listen just tell us what that guy said already!

Kaiba: Well here in Brazil -where the show came  from of course because she's Spanish obviously- they have a NEW season where she uses the power of the "mystic key" to unlock the magical mysteries of learning with kids everywhere…while protecting it from this character named "swipper" who is determined to have all the knowledge for himself…

Joey, Y/M: *_*

Tea, Isis: --_--''

Bakura: (X)_(X)

Yami: (X)_(X) Make it stop…for the love of Raa, make it stop…

Kaiba: -_- Do you understand now?

Bakura: (still shocked at the unfortunate fait of the millennium key) Well at least it wasn't the ring…Ha! I have to tell Shadi what the destiny of his key was!!! Can't wait to see the look on his face.

Y/M: we can worry about that later! How are we going to get this thing back?

Isis: Kaiba, I thought I heard the guy mention something about Carnival? Am I right?

Joey: What's carnival?

Tea: (stars in her eyes) It's a big festival with a parade, and dancing…

Kaiba: Forget it we're not going. But to answer your question Isis, yes he did. Something about Dora making a special appearance something rather…

Y/M: An appearance, you mean like in the parade?

Kaiba: Something like that.

Yami: But if she's there…

Joey: Then there's a chance that the key might be there too!

Bakura: (evil smirk) Say no more friends. The plan is set…

Tea: Oh, no he's thinking…

Bakura: Rest up, because tomorrow at Carnival….. WE AMBUSH DORA THE EXPLORER!!!!

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Meanwhile up in Canada…

Tristan: (cautiously) O_O We're back with the wood.

Serenity: Oh, good ^^.

Tristan: I'm sorry Serenity….I don't think I can look at you the same again…I mean maybe from Mai…you're just not the girl I fell in love with…*sigh*

Everyone else: o_O

Mai: What are you talking about? You know what, don't answer that, I don't want to know. o_O But tell me this, where were you guys for so long?!?  We finished setting up the tent a long time ago.

Tristan: The tent?

Yugi: Yeah what did you think we were doing?

Tristan: O_O Uh, nothing.

Duke/ Malik: Thought so.

Duke:  (thinking to himself) He-he one big tent…I see possibilities…kikkity-kikkitty-kikkitty…   [A/N: Come on family guy fans! GO Quagmire!!! ^_^]

Serenity: Yep! And the guy's tent is right over there. (points to another tent further away)

Duke: Huh? Guy's tent?

Mai: Yeah, what'd ya think? You were going to stay in the same tent with me and Serenity.

Duke: ^_^U Eh-he-he, of course not…

Ryou: It's getting pretty late, I think we should all hit the sack so we can have an early morning tomorrow. 

Yugi: Good idea.

So group one prepared to settle down for the night but of course, things never happen the way they're supposed to…..

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Neutral: What will happen with operation ambush, and how will group one fair on their first night on a mountain…read and find out!!! Okay, okay, I know, I'm being a jackass, making these chapters so short and all, but don't loose hope in me. I just REALLY wanted to put this chapter out there. ( just think of chapter 3 and 4 being one chapter divided into two parts ^^)  And besides, look at how fast I updated…come on cut me some slack. Besides you can read more and look forward to coming chapters. And another thing! It's like 1:30 in the morning!!! So there. Anyway my compodres, I will hopefully see you later.


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